Music, Pretend Games & Other Things

First of all, I've been listening to Daft Punk and Chromeo all day so all I want to do is dance, I'm currently jiving while writing this.
Secondly, is it not incredibly spectacularly amazing how much your life can change (for the better) within a matter of weeks?! And I know you're going, yes! yes Kayla, it is! My lifestyle has drastically changed in the last week, I blame this in part to WINTER BREAK and a few very amazing individuals. How does that saying go? "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone?" or was it "You don't know what you got 'til it's gone and on to bigger and better things and it makes you insanely jealous." I can't recall. If I could capture the last week of my life on video tape, most of you would probably not feel comfortable viewing it, because it would make you sad about how boring your week has been.
Laughing releases Endorphins. This causes people to be happy, chemically. This also makes you healthy. When I think about the last 8 months of my life and the time I spent NOT smiling or laughing I laugh about it. How silly to waste any part of life feeling any emotion but total bliss (except for insinuating circumstances).
Also over the course of the year, I lost touch with my best friend, Music. He's been in my life a lot more, lately. We're actually working on a few projects together, right now. I'm trying out for American Idol in the summer, also. I've decided it's time. I'm 21-years-old (and regardless of what anyone says, way past my prime, helloooo look at today's 18-year-olds!). Plus my voice is an equivalent to and angel bearing gifts of Oreos. Only my motives are completely different for wanting to show the world my voice than they were a few years ago.
I always wanted to be famous, shit who doesn't right? But, as I got older I realized how bad it must suck to be famous. See normal people go around life thinking someone loves them, you fall in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend and have total faith this person is crazy about you. People lie often, and it may so be that this person really does not love you. This sucks, tremendously. It hurts to be lied to, decieved, hurt, etc etc etc. But what I think would hurt worse is having that you consider your friends, having a significant other you're sure LUH-HUVS you, but when you're famous you always know it's not real, but you pretend because no one wants to be alone. You legitametly know, that these people do not give two shits about you as a person, but you go along with it, craving human connection and companionship.
The human mind, what a wassssteee.
I want to share my voice with people to make other people happy. Music, singing, playing makes me happier than anything in the world. If I can impact just one person's life with my music, my life has been VERY fulfilling.